Parashat Matot-Masei: The Power of Words

Parashat Matot-Masei, Numbers 30:2 - 36:13

“When a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind his soul with a bond, he shall not break his word; all that crosses his lips he must do” (K’chol ha’yotzei mepeev ya’aseh). (Numbers 30:3)

A man is bound by his words. Words exist in our minds as well as on our lips but they must cross our lips in order to become real. There are very few cases in the rabbinic tradition or the Tanach where thoughts are punishable or even taken very seriously. However, as soon as words have “crossed lips” and become real things they must be taken seriously. Indeed, the hebrew “davar” can mean either “word” or “thing”. We atone for actions and words; not for mere thoughts.

The Torah present us with a discussion of the power of words and vows here at the very end of the book of Numbers, right before the Israelites are about to enter the land. Perhaps its location here serves to remind us of where we came from and where we are going. As slaves leaving Egypt we had no responsibility; our words meant nothing. We were as children. We then wandered through the desert for a generation undergoing physical and spiritual challenges and learning what it means to become a people as opposed to an oppressed group. In essence, we went through adolescence and were now ready to become adults. 

Moshe and Aaron taught us God’s expectations - to keep the mitzvot, to conquer the land, to engage in community through imparted values. Our words now had significance. We were no longer a people alone but a people standing with God. Therefore what we say, whenever and wherever we say it, matters. 

From this point onwards vows and oaths taken in God’s name would be taken very seriously. A free man was expected to carry out whatever “crossed their lips” and, for a free man, there was no option of nullification. However, people who lived under the authority of others, such as a girl in her father's home or a wife in her husband’s could have their vows nullified by their father or husband. To have your vows fully and irredeemably binding is a sign of full unmediated citizenship and relationship with God. In the world of the Bible women were yet to stand in that unmediated relationship.

It is extremely difficult to live in a world where you are accountable for every utterance. The Biblical story of Jephthah/Yiftach in the book of Judges (Chapter 11) is a cautionary tale about what happens when all your utterances before God must be honoured. The rabbis came to recognize that people often speak without thought and need some leeway when it comes to vows. They demanded a highly refined and specific formula for making vows that would limit unintentional vowing and they also created a radically new structure for the annulment of vows. The rabbis themselves stood in the breach to save people from their own foolish words. 

In today’s modern world speech is not legally regulated in the way that it was in biblical or rabbinic times. In the US we pride ourselves on the First Amendment, a law that protects our right to free speech. The legal protection of speech liberates us to be personally responsible for the way we use language. No people has ever been free like the Americans; free to stand in a fully unmediated way before God.  Here we must be fully cognizant of the words, and promises, that issue from our mouths. No one will save us from our oaths here except ourselves.

Co-written with Rabbi Joel Levy,  Rosh Yeshiva of the Conservative Yeshiva in Jerusalem, for the Washington Jewish Week, Summer 2016. 

Noach: The words we hear, the words we use

 Parashat Noach (Genesis 6:9-11:32)

They say that every rabbi really only has three sermons. Mine are: we are created B’Tzelem Elohim/in God’s image; as humans we are fallible; and words have power. This week’s parsha, Noach, illustrates all of these. We see how the fallibility of humanity causes the flood and the building of the Tower of Babel. The idea that we are created in God’s image was on the minds of the people who decided to build the tower in the first place, although they were not trying to emulate God so much as trying to BE God – never a good idea. 

Every time I read a parsha a different lesson is revealed to me. This year the Tower of Babel story with its focus on the power of words and language seems more relevant than ever. Who hasn’t been in a situation where everyone is speaking the same language but somehow no one seems to understand what anyone else is saying. 

A classic example is the Abbott and Costello skit “Who’s on first?” Abbott begins by naming the players on the bases. Costello hears something entirely different and responds accordingly. Abbott in turn does not understand Costello’s responses and proceeds to answer in a way that just compounds the misunderstanding – and so it continues. Even two people, friends, speaking the same language, do not understand what the other is saying --  and the result is a conversation at cross purposes. In this case it is very funny but we all know that is not always the case.  

In Parshat Noach (Genesis 11:1-7) we are told that people from chol ha’aretz/all the earth speak the same language and together decide to make a name for themselves by building a tower up to the sky. Commentators say that this chol ha’aretz means that it was literally all of humankind who were involved in this endeavor. If that was the case, who were they trying to impress by making a name for themselves? The commentaries’ answer is that they wanted to challenge God. As we all know from countless episodes in Torah, God doesn’t particularly like to be challenged and when God is challenged it must be done in just the right way (think Abraham and Sodom). The people building this tower were afraid that if they did not build it, they would be “scattered all over the world.” (11:4) The consequence of this challenge turned out to be exactly what they had named as a reason for their actions, but much worse. They were not only scattered but also lost the gift of ease of communications.

I once attended a workshop that demonstrated how easy it is to misunderstand the meaning of a spoken word. One activity involved the presenter saying a sentence, highlighting a particular word and then asking each person to write down what they heard when this word was spoken. The word was “Israel.” The responses contained the entire spectrum (positive and negative) of the biblical, political, religious and spiritual meanings. It was fascinating. It reminded us that we cannot take for granted that what we say will be received and perceived in the ways we intend. 

The verse in which God states the intention to confound humanity’s speech concludes “…asher lo yishma’u/so that they shall not understand one another’s speech.” (11:7) The root of the word used for understand is shin-mem-ayin, shema. Rashi writes that this root word is used here as “hearing” with one’s heart, as distinct from hearing with one’s ears. Isn’t that what the communication is all about? What we say and what we hear is determined not only by our ears and our intellect. It is also determined by our hearts, by our experiences, by our world view. 

As we move through not only this health crisis but also this challenging political season, my blessing for all of us is to hear with open ears, mind and heart. May we recognize that there is meaning under the surface of words and strive to shema/understand what is being heard and what we say in return. 

Note: a version of this Dvar Torah can be found in the 10/22/20 issue of the Washington Jewish Week.