Some weeks you need Shabbat more than others. This is one of those weeks for me and it's only Tuesday night.
Working at CPE takes it's toll, no more so than when it's a week when one escorts a person as she meets her death. It's a holy honor and an awesome burden. I feel privileged to be there with the dying one and their family as they go through whatever it is that they need to do. I am happy that I can help any way that I can, even if it is just by being present.
I was not there last night when a woman I've gotten to know passed away but I did spend most of yesterday afternoon with her and her husband. And I spend much of today with her husband in the first of his days without her.
It's what we do as rabbis, as pastors, as chaplains. Sometimes it's easier than others. Sometimes it's lighter. It's a wonderful thing knowing that I made a difference in someone's life at an important time. It will just take a day or two before I am truly able to appreciate just what that means.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet. May her memory always be for a blessing.
In the meantime, I did what I often do when I'm feeling ... well, when I'm feeling anything more than usual. I turn to food. This time I baked instead of ate (thank goodness). I made Challah for the Shabbat that I'm looking forward to. I'll be spending erev Shabbat with most of my lovely family and many of my wonderful fellow CPE interns. A holy assembly.